Endings Can Be Just As Profound As Beginnings

I believe we love the moon because she reflects the parts of ourselves we’re still learning to embrace. She waxes and wanes, gently reminding us that change is not only inevitable but essential—nothing stays the same forever. She shines her brightest when the world is cloaked in darkness, offering her light without hesitation. Even when she appears fragmented, we understand that she is whole. Perhaps her most beautiful lesson is this: endings can be just as profound as beginnings, as the sun dips below the horizon and leaves her to hold the night.

This year has been challenging in ways I could not have anticipated. As I sit here, watching the last days of 2024 slip away, I’m left contemplating how much I’ve changed—and how much I still need to. Growth in and of itself isn’t always beautiful; sometimes, it’s messy, painful, and full of hard decisions.

With 2025 on the horizon, I’m choosing to focus my resolutions not on superficial goals but on meaningful, necessary changes. There’s a difference between reaching for perfection and striving for authenticity. I no longer have the patience for ideals that don’t serve my spirit. This year taught me that I don’t need more ambition; I need to reclaim the parts of myself I’ve neglected.

Saying Goodbye To Facebook

I have decided to permanently close my Facebook account on January 1, 2025. This is not a temporary break or a reconsideration—it’s a final decision. Over the course of this past year, I have been inundated with an unrelenting barrage of hateful messages. Total strangers have somehow managed to bypass the platform’s safeguards to send me deeply offensive and malicious accusations. Many of these messages falsely claim that I am transgender, despite my own clear reality, and some of them are so vile that they are profoundly disturbing.

Let me take this opportunity to clarify, once and for all: I am not transgender. I was assigned female at birth, and my intersex condition was well documented in my birth record, something my doctors later explained to me when I was 16 years old. Despite my father’s coercive attempts to force a male identity upon me, I have lived my entire life as the woman I know myself to be. My identity is not up for debate or anyone’s scrutiny, least of all from anonymous individuals who hide behind screens to spread hatred.

Several of my friends have urged me to reconsider leaving Facebook, but they fail to grasp the toll this platform has taken on my mental health, and overall well-being. Staying would mean subjecting myself to a toxic environment that I cannot, in good conscience, continue to endure. Prioritizing my mental health is not just necessary—it’s non-negotiable.

This decision is not about giving in to the hate, but rather about reclaiming control over my life and choosing peace over chaos. My connections with those who truly care about me will persist through other, more meaningful channels. Facebook, however, will no longer be one of them.

I Need Write More And Take More Pictures

I need to devote more time to writing, allowing my thoughts and creativity to flow freely onto the page. Writing has always been a cornerstone of my self-expression, and I feel compelled to nurture this craft more intentionally. My blog has been an extension of my life and experiences; it’s time for me to abandon set schedules, and simply post whatever I want, whenever I want.

I need to capture more photographs, immersing myself in the art of visual storytelling. There’s a great big world waiting to be documented, framed through my lens with the unique perspective that only I can bring. I need to let go of my preoccupation with perfection—a burden that has unfortunately become the norm, where every aspect of life is meticulously packaged and marketed. In the process, we strip away the very qualities that embody the essence of the human condition.

I Miss Being The Quintessential Free Spirit

When I was younger, I was the quintessential free spirit. I thrived on spontaneity and adventure, navigating life with little more than intuition and a lust for the wild. Somewhere along the way, that carefree version of myself got buried under responsibilities, expectations, and the dull rhythm of routine. The truth is, I miss they way I used to be. I miss the untamed, unapologetic way I lived.

So, as I step into the new year, I’m making a vow—not to reinvent myself but to rediscover what made me who I am. I want to chase the sunrise without a plan, take risks without a safety net, and allow myself the freedom to be wild, spontaneous, and wild once more. Life is too short to live it on someone else’s terms, or to bend to the desires of others to the point where I’m no longer myself.

I know these changes won’t come without discomfort. Growth rarely does. But I’ve reached a point where staying the same feels more painful than evolving. I’m ready to let go of the noise and reconnect with the things that make my heart race and my spirit soar.

December 23, 2024