FREE STICKERS!

Do you want to instantly elevate your status among friends, family, and maybe even that nosy neighbor who keeps peeking over the fence? Well, you’re in luck! We’re giving away free TomSlatin.com stickers—yes, you heard that right, FREE! Just imagine, you could slap one on your laptop, your car, or even your cat (just kidding, don’t do that). All you have to do is drop me a line with your mailing address, and I’ll send you a sticker that’s guaranteed to spark conversations, raise eyebrows, and maybe even make you the coolest person on your block. Supplies are limited, so act fast before they become a rare collector’s item!

Fine Print: Stickers are non-edible, non-refundable, non-sentient, and non-negotiable. By requesting a sticker, you agree to abide by all local, state, federal, intergalactic, and interdimensional laws regarding sticker usage. Individual results may vary. Do not attempt to use the sticker as currency, flotation device, or for any purpose other than to proudly display your allegiance to TomSlatin.com. Side effects may include an overwhelming sense of coolness, spontaneous compliments from strangers, and the occasional high-five from fellow sticker enthusiasts. Offer valid until the end of time, or until the stickers run out—whichever comes first. Terms and conditions may or may not apply, depending on the weather, planetary alignment, and how well your morning coffee turned out. Your mailing address won’t be shared with third parties, or used for any other purpose other than making your lifelong dream of owning a TomSlatin.com sticker a reality. I knew you would eventually catch on. Enjoy, except where prohibited.